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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065105">For the firm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/S6a/pseuds/S6a'>S6a</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Suits (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Christmas Party, Emotional Hurt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Forgiveness, Love Confessions, Loyalty, M/M, Paparazzi, Self Confidence Issues, everyone ship them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:54:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,639</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/S6a/pseuds/S6a</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the firm became Pearson Darbey things in the firm changed. The biggest change was the constant screaming matches and arguments from the senior partner and his golden boy. People began to wonder and rumors were formed. So what do you do? What do you do when false gossip is spread? Ignore them, show the truth, or make them real.</p><p> </p><p>"God may forgive your sins but believe me, the devil does not forgive".</p><p>"But Harvey, everyone knows that the devil wears Prada, not Ford suits."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mike Ross &amp; Harvey Specter, Mike Ross/Harvey Specter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prolog</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The chapter just shows what Mike really feels.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I used a lot of metaphors to create a certain atmosphere so don't take everything literally.<br/>Please let me know if you like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His tiny apartment is like a cage that holds him captive. He has been pacing in holes in the floor for hours. Everything is too much.</p><p>The ceiling is falling, his walls are getting closer.</p><p>His collar is too tight and every breath is difficult.<br/>The stinging in his chest gets more and more.</p><p>His head is bursting, his vision is blurred.</p><p>His ears are ringing with the sound of Harvey's voice repeating the words "we are done", over and over again. Every breath he takes is tied to the thought that he has failed.</p><p>All his dreams are just dead dreaming around in this no man's land.<br/>So what does he want here where everything spoils what you have left?</p><p>The young man just wants to get out. He has to go out. To get away from his thoughts or the person who lives rent-free in his head.</p><p>Harvey has been living rent-free in Mike's head since the moment Mike looked Harvey in the eyes for the first time. At first, he only thought of him a few times a day. Of course more often at work because every move he did, had something to do with Harvey. Like doing, the work Harvey tossed at him right and fast done and finding more than his boss asked him to. All that extra work so, Mike could prove that he was worthy of being in the law firm. To prove Mike was worth working alongside the great senior partner. To not disappoint Harvey so that he wouldn't regret hiring him. And to exhibit that all the stress of keeping the secret is worth it. That Mike was worth it.</p><p>"Make Harvey proud", was one sentence he kept in his head all the time. Except for the day Jessica forced him to betray Harvey to save his own ass. Honestly to this day, he doesn't even know what he was thinking at that moment. Mike only felt sheer panic, he felt pressed against the wall, completely unprepared like he'd come to a gunfight with a knife.</p><p>The hood is deep in his face because he has no desire to make eye contact with people and see the pity or disguise looks that they would throw at him. The wind is cool, his eyes are watering and his walk is more sluggish than walking.<br/>The past is a heavy burden that pressure on his shoulders.<br/>It pushes him deep into the quagmire. Why is everything so fuck up?!</p><p>For a second he had almost everything he dared to dream and a gust of wind later everything was destroyed. Gone.</p><p>The sky is gray, the road is wet, and the rain cools him down.</p><p>The gray acts as a jail on the soul.<br/>He knows the gray well but it doesn't mean he missed the bright colors that he was able to experience briefly. The fist bumps, every smile, every laugh that Harvey directed at him, the countless good deeds that Harvey did, and showed Mike that he cared after all. The mornings where Harvey stoled his coffee, insulted his clothes especially his ties, the lunch break where there ate hot dogs or bagel and drank coffee, the business meals, and the proud looks Harvey gave him every time he did a good job or surprise him. The movie quoting battles where Harvey showed Mike that he could keep up with Mike's eidetic memory.</p><p>The puddle in front of him reflects his face.<br/>A hopeless face with dead eyes. Why does he not like the picture in every mirror recently?<br/>Maybe because it no longer shows the <em>real</em> him.<br/>Has for a long time not.</p><p>None of his steps bring him really forward.<br/>Without the will, there is no strength.</p><p>How often he got something good and fuck it up? He had the chance to be a real lawyer but because of his stupidity, he got kicked out. Then fate gave him a second chance when he met Harvey (no Harvey gave him the chance), and he managed again to destroy the only good thing he had besides his grandmother. He could explode with self-hatred, but the rain is cooling him down.</p><p>But even the rain couldn't wash the blood on his hands away. He betrayed Harvey and hurt him. Stabbed in the back with a knife, leaving a deep wound that Mike tried to close but <em>can't</em>. Harvey himself doesn't know how to stop the bleeding, Mike knows that exactly.</p><p>He disappointed Harvey. Everything he wanted to prove could not be achieved. He has proven exactly the opposite. Harvey regrets the day he hired him. Mike doesn't deserve to sit at the table with the "grown-ups". Hell, he doesn't even deserve to walk on the same floor as Harvey, let alone breathe the same air as Harvey.</p><p>He swam in the ocean full of lies.<br/>Every new wave drifts him further and further away. His days as a fake lawyer are numbered, Mike knows it too. It's only a matter of time before Mike messes up again, and he would be fired by Jessica or Harvey himself.</p><p>The streetlamps bluntly light up the path and Mike closes his eyes and bask himself in the light of those streetlamps for a moment. He will work in the firm until they get sick of him. </p><p>Life is not a fairy tale. The ugly duckling won't become a swarm. A rat does not become a wolf when it howls at the moon.</p><p>And a college dropout won't become a successful loyal lawyer and make his lifesaver fall in love with him to live happily ever after.</p><p> </p><p>Mike put his phone out of his pocket. He didn't know whether his face was wet from tears or rain. The biggest reason for his tears was the fear he had that he'd never be able to see these bright colors again.</p><p>He wipes the wetness from his face. Then he tries to wipe with his soaked sleeves the drops of cool rain away that was on his cell phone. Then he calls but the call doesn't connect so he texts Harvey to explain that he was sorry and beg for forgiveness.</p><p>A few minutes later his phone vibrates with the notification that he has three new messages:</p><p>
  <em>Seriously what about "we are done", you don't get it?!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>No, you are not sorry that you fucked up</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And don’t even dare to call or text me again!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. She said jump</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mike wishes nothing more than gluing the broken pieces back together he left with Harvey.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Monday he tried to speak to Harvey at work too but Donna didn't allow Mike in Harvey's offices anymore, so he caught Harvey after he entered the lobby.<br/>Harvey ignored him and passed the security without giving a glance but Mike stubbornly as he is run after him. He grabbed the older man's arm and stepped between the elevator door and Harvey.</p><p>Harvey gave him such a hateful glare he never have seen Harvey gave everyone not even Louis.</p><p>Then Harvey's face turned to a cold, disinterested mask he seemed to have perfected around his former associate. Mike tried to ignore the now all too familiar twinge in his chest every time he was treated to that look.</p><p>"Go aside and don't touch me again!<br/>Otherwise, your face will kiss a wall!” Mike actually believed the older man and let go of the arm, but he did not step aside.</p><p>"Harvey, please stay calm and just listen to me for a second!", Mike raised confidently his chin.</p><p>But Harvey just rolled his eyes and then took a look at his watch.</p><p>"I know you are sorry, yadda yadda... the same old stuff.<br/>And, yes, I'll stay calm.<br/>But what done is done." then he went to the next elevator. Seeing it as his only chance to make things right, Mike followed Harvey and step with him in the elevator. Yeah, he knew it was a bold move. Harvey could easily kill him there without anyone noticing.</p><p>Harvey took his phone out of his pocket and ignored him.</p><p>“Please, listen to me. You are right I fuck up again. You gave me the chance I never thought I get again and for that, I will be eternally grateful to you. All you wanted from me as a token of gratitude was loyalty and even this simple thing I couldn't give you. So yes I know I let you down and hurt you. You have to believe me that I didn't want that if I could turn back the time ... I would.”</p><p>Without looking up Harvey replied that Mike couldn't turn back the time. Then the elevator stopped at some floor and one unfamiliar person entered.</p><p>Mike bit his lip and saw that he only had a couple of seconds until they would arrive at their floor and even with the unknown guy there, he took this chance. “I'm not asking you to forget or to pretend that I never hurt you. All I ask you for is to forgive me. I know forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. So we can all move on."</p><p>At that Harvey laughed bitter. “Yeah move on easy to say for you.”</p><p>The car opened the door and Harvey stepped quickly out. Mike followed him again.</p><p>"Think about it. Being here makes no sense when I have to work for Louis and not with you,” Mike took Harvey's wrist so the senior partner was forced to stop his steps and showed him with his eyes that what he'd say next was the truth. </p><p>“You are the only person who can teach me how to be a real lawyer and be the friend and the man I always wanted to become.”  </p><p>“How can you still count yourself a friend or a man, when you have forsaken the most important character trait that a true friend has?”, Harvey shouted at him. </p><p>Mike wasn't sure if Harvey was throwing him a bone here or if Harvey wasn't aware that he offered Mike a gift here. But who was he to look a given horse in the mouth?!</p><p>"So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other."</p><p>For a short time, Harvey said nothing and just stared at Mike then he growled.</p><p>"Then you are not worth being with me," Harvey spoke with a cold voice and toured his wrist out of Mike's grip. He began to walk again but for the third time, Mike stepped in his way. Harvey was inches away to punch Mike in the face.</p><p>"What are you wanting from me?!", Harvey shouted and all the attention from everyone on the floor was on them. “As I said before I want forgiveness, that's all I asked of you!”, Mike replied with a calm voice.</p><p>"If you want light, you first have to earn the shadow," Harvey told him, but he didn't have the cold mask instead his expression had something Mike could not explain.</p><p>I'll tear the shadow into the light, just watch me", he yelled after Harvey as he reached his office and slammed his door without looking back.</p><p>Well, that went better than Mike thought. Only then he noticed that everyone was staring at him.</p><p>The rest of the day he worked just for Louis and luckily no one tried to talk with him.</p><p>Days passed with several attempts from Mike to talk to Harvey again. Unfortunately, they only ended in loud arguments without a sign that Harvey would forgive him. </p><p> </p><p>When Mike arrived in the firm on a Tuesday morning he knew that the day would be strange. All people he passed glared or smiled at him. Some even expressed their congratulations with a smile or patted his shoulder.<br/>Congratulations on what, he didn’t know or why people he'd never speak with him had reason to be angry with him. The associates in the bullpen were the worst. Some congratulations, some made fun of him and Harold told him that he hoped he survived. But no one told him what was going on. That made him irritating as hell and the constant whispering when they thought he would be very focused on his work. God bless headphones.</p><p>The stack of files he had on his desk was strange too. <span class="u">All</span> were about clients who have experienced homophobia at their workplace. He had no clue who gave him them. Maybe Harvey as some kind of punishment? Not that it was a punishment. He had nothing against gay people, and he doubted that Harvey would be against them. Maybe Harvey thought he'd bored or something.</p><p>After five hours he was finished with the files, so he yanked both headphones off his ears and stretched his arms over his head.</p><p>"Oh, that makes sense. They are in a relationship. That's why they are always fighting"<br/>"Please I bet they are secretly married because they remind me of my grandparents they fight but in the end, they find their ways back together."<br/>"But it seemed that he cheated or something."<br/>Mike was relieved that the associates were done talking about him, and he wondered who the asshole was that cheated on his girlfriend. Not that he really cared for the usual gossip, but he needed a break from his work mentally and physically.</p><p>"Mike in my office. And don't forget the files," he didn't hear Louis's approach.</p><p>"All?", Mike asked dumbly.</p><p>"Yes of course all," Louis snarled.</p><p>He stood up, and they went to Louis's office.</p><p>Inside Louis stood behind his desk and just stared at Mike. Mike squirmed nervously. When Louis still didn't say anything he broke the silence.</p><p>"So the files are all from you," he guessed.</p><p>"Yes", the junior partner nodded.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Do I need a reason to give you work?", Louis responded. "I want you to know that I ship you.", he added with a smirk.</p><p>"You what?", Mike asked cluelessly. Got Louis crazy again? What the hell did he mean with the ship?</p><p>"I don't even have a boat," he said dumb folded.</p><p>"I'm sure Harvey would buy you one. If you are a good boy," Mike tried not to flinch.</p><p>"So, here are your new work," Louis pointed to a stable to the table.</p><p>"But what we don't-," he didn't finish the sentence. "Thank you," he said instead.</p><p>He left the office with the stable so high that he couldn't see the way. All in the firm gone crazy. Could the day be stranger?</p><p>On the way to the bullpen, he ran straight into someone. He hoped not in Harvey. Although the man would be the only sane one here.</p><p>"Mike! Congrats," Rachel said honestly. He shifted a bit so he could see her.</p><p>"Hey, uhm thank you," he said awkwardly.</p><p>"I totally support you, but I'd wish I hear it from you," she told him.</p><p>"Told you what?", Mike demanded impatiently and went to the bullpen in hope that Rachel would follow because the flies were difficult to carry. He wasn't as strong as Harvey. Rachel didn't follow him.</p><p>"You can stop pretending," she called after him. Mike froze in his steps. Did it mean she or they know? No, it couldn't be. Jessica already knew, and she would call him to the office and people would not congrats him. But still... a few were angry with him.</p><p>The phone on his desk rang when he finally arrived there. Jessica’s assistant called him to informed him that Jessica waits in her office for him.</p><p>"Do you know about what?" he asked and tried not to sound nervous.</p><p>"No, but Harvey should be there too," she told him. Mike practical ran to the elevators and went to the office. A chance to meet Harvey again and maybe they would work together again. </p><p> </p><p>They arrived at the same time. Harvey barged into the boss’s office and Mike followed on his heels.</p><p>“Explain!”, the senior partner demanded upset, as he threw a magazine on her desk.</p><p>"This wasn't my idea. But it isn't a bad thing. These rumors helped to improve the firm image already. Today over fifty potential clients called," she shrugged in the end.</p><p>Harvey glared and shook his head in disbelieve.<br/>"If you have listened to me, we wouldn't need something to polish our image. So what should we do?"</p><p>Jessica smirked, "I have to tell you, you make it believable without even trying and if you deny it, people want to know what other reason you'd have to argue so often."</p><p>Mike slowly had an idea what it was about. He hoped deeply that he just went crazy like everyone else.</p><p>Unfortunately, Harvey destroyed his hope with his next sentence.</p><p>"No absolute not! After the stunt, you did with Mike you dare to ask to pretend to be a couple with the same person who betrays me, just to improve the image of the firm?!", Mike had to take a seat. They didn't pay attention to him, so he sat on the sofa before his legs give up.</p><p>"It is really only a small effort to save the company and your secret. All you have to do is do pro bono cases and appear at a few company parties. Maybe an interview with the magazine to officially confirm it. And of course, you have to stop yelling at each other in the hallway. That's how it all started. If you'd act professionally at work we wouldn't be in that mess," she told them like a disappointed mother.</p><p>Harvey massaged his temples for a moment. He took a deep breath, "Ok, I will just arrive at the firm parties with Mike and that is. Warn everyone not to speak with me about Mike and of course no interview! Otherwise, I can't guarantee that something happens."</p><p>"So what? I just stay the whole evening next to you and shut my mouth?!", Mike spoke for the first time. Jessica and Harvey looked at him as they forgot he was there.</p><p>Harvey tried to look annoyed but his mouth twitched to a smile. He could not help the kid knew him so well.... but it didn't stop him to betray him. With that thought, the smile was gone. "Yes, you will not speak to me because you will not stand next to me. We just enter and leave together," he raised an eyebrow and looked at Jessica.</p><p>"Will that do?", Harvey’s voice dripped with sarcasm</p><p>"No, as I told you, you got in that mess because people saw you argue. So people have to see you working together without tension. So you have to work together again and spent your lunchtime together or something", the boss waved with a hand at Mike.</p><p>"Your new cases. Have fun boys," on her desk was a stable not so high as the files Louis got him. "What about Louis? Do I have to do the stable of cases he gives me earlier?" Mike asked as he took the files in his arms.</p><p>"Yes, nothing will change, all will be like it was before the meager, you understand, both?" Jessica said with a firm voice.</p><p>Both nodded dissatisfied and left the office. Harvey first and behind him Mike.</p><p><br/>"What are you doing in my office? You have enough work to do," Harvey said as he switched his Laptop on.</p><p>"I know it was for appearance’s sake," Mike smiled sly.</p><p>Harvey nodded inexpressive, "Good thinking, now go. I don't want to see you again, today."</p><p>Mike still grinned, "Whatever you say, honey," he waved a hand as he left the office with the files still in his arm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Quote from:<br/>George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings:<br/>“How can you still count yourself a knight, when you have forsaken every vow you ever swore?"<br/>Jaime reached for the flagon to refill his cup. "So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other.”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. They said jump</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harvey and Mike have to attend a firm party and met clients.<br/>A rollercoaster of emotion after a kiss at a baseball game.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You wanna dance?” Mike leaned against the bar and grinned at the woman he’d been talking to for the last ten minutes.<br/>“I would,” the redhead smiled at him coyly, “But don’t you think you should be dancing with your boyfriend instead?”<br/>Mike almost choked on his beer and opened his mouth to argue her assumption, but she was already moving away towards a friend she’d spotted across the room.<br/>"Have a nice night,” she winked at him with a knowing smile.</p><p>Damn, he forgot his fake boyfriend. In his defense, it was easy to. When Jessica said they should go back to the beginning, Harvey took the "back to the beginning" literally and understood that the beginning was before Mike was there. The boss ignored him. He was on his desk more than ever and really missed the clients.</p><p>The only change was that every afternoon he'd deliver the files for Harvey to his office and have to take a long way, so people could see him.<br/>And of course, the other change was, that they arrived at the party at the same time. Mike in a cab and Harvey was drive by his town car. Both of them dressed to the nines in smart tuxedos, and whereas he normally felt he looked more like a waiter than a high roller, tonight he was actually feeling more like he should be drinking the champagne rather than serving them.<br/>As soon they arrived at the ballroom Harvey nodded to him, for the people and then went to talk to clients and other lawyers. </p><p>"How’s your evening going, honey?” the brunette teased. For a second Mike was surprised that Harvey came to him but the man liked seeing him suffering so he shouldn't really be surprised.</p><p>“It was going really well up until Kim over there mentioned my boyfriend,” he muttered, nodding towards the woman he’d been chatting with before looking back at his friend.</p><p>Harvey sipped his scotch and watched him amused.<br/>"It's only fair if I don't get laid then neither do you."</p><p>Mike again felt surprised. That was their longest conversation in weeks.<br/>"What, don't tell me the greatest lawyer have trouble to find a lady," he couldn't help but tease with a huge smile. That was them, they banter.<br/>Then a lightning bolt came out of nowhere. He looked perplexed in the direction where the flash came and saw a guy with a camera. Right, it was the type of event. Mike felt almost like a famous person.</p><p>When he looked back at Harvey, he was gone.</p><p>Right only for the public. To feed the image. Why else should he talk to him?</p><p>The night was longer than it should be. It was boring he kept his place at the bar until Louis to his amazement introduced him to people. No one asked him about his boyfriend which was a good thing. He wasn't sure whether he could come with polite answers.</p><p>At the end of the night, Harvey and Mike met again at the exit. Mike was glad that he did not have to interrupt Harvey's conversations, but that he came to him by himself, or rather Harvey went out and Mike followed him outside.<br/>As soon as they were out, Harvey jumped into the first cab. With people outside, colleagues and clients, Mike quickly followed the man before the cab could leave.<br/>Harvey ignored him again, so Mike told the driver his address and let the driver decide where he'd drive first.<br/>They arrived first at Harvey's.<br/>"Goodnight Harvey," he told his fake boyfriend.<br/>"Night," Harvey rather wished the cab driver than him as he got out without paying for the ride.</p><p>Ok, he kinda deserved it, Mike thought with a sigh.</p><p>------------------------<br/>Mike double-check the address that Harvey send him, again indeed it was the right address.<br/>It was a church. Inside he finally met Harvey who was in a conversation with a father and a gay couple he assumed.<br/>Harvey let him came here blind. He now knew the case but he didn't know what he should do here.<br/>"Hey, sorry for being late. I'm Mr. Specter's associate, Mike Ross, pleasure to meet you," he waved unsurely. He didn't want to interrupt but he couldn't just stay inside like a lost child. And of course, he wasn't late, in fact, he was ten minutes earlier there.</p><p><br/>The three snaped to him. Together they discussed their case and surprisingly the father was very supportive and would marry the couple in the church. So Harvey and Mike just had to write a letter to the church's council. All in all the case was fast solve.</p><p>When the couple said their goodbyes and left the church before Harvey and Mike, Mike took the opportunity to talk to Harvey about forgiveness again. After all, it was the best place for it. "The act of forgiveness takes place in our own minds. It really has nothing to do with the other person," Mike said.</p><p>Harvey rolled his eyes. "Of course you would try to talk with me here. I'm not even a believer," Harvey sound tied.</p><p>"Gentlemen, I couldn't help but overhear you and I think I'm an expert about forgiveness. We people are simul iustus and simul peccator; that means we so we will continue to sin throughout our lives and will have to keep asking God for forgiveness. And God will forgive you. Then why can't you?", the father continued. "Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."</p><p>Harvey seemed conflicted he glanced between Mike and the churchman and then smirked. "God may forgive your sins, my friend but believe me, the devil does not forgive," he told Mike, ignored the churchman completely, and went outside. Mike followed him but not before thanking the priest and apologizing for Harvey.</p><p>"But Harvey everyone knows that the devil wears Prada", Mike yelled and could not help but chuckle. Harvey wore a black Tom Ford suit.</p><p>Harvey finally laughed wholeheartedly as he opened the door of the car. Mike stared at Harvey, his heartfelt funny. The man hadn't laughed in weeks. He really hoped Harvey didn't mess with him again. But no one was there so it couldn't be an act.</p><p>"Are you coming?", Harvey called as the window was down. The associate was stunned but quickly followed his boss in the car. Mike felt a déja vû, they were silent as Ray drove back to the firm. As the car came to halt, Mike frowned and looked at Harvey.</p><p>"Do you have another meeting?", he asked confused.</p><p>"We have another meeting," Harvey corrected without his cold voice.</p><p>"As Jessica put that it's a meeting to woo a potential client couple and we should act like it's a double date," Harvey made a disgusted face at the word "date".</p><p>A laugh escaped Mike he couldn't help. "Sure, if you are game," he looked uncertainly at Harvey.</p><p>The boss signed and looked at his Rolex watch. "I have to, and it's for the best if we are on the same page," Harvey straight the collar of his suit.</p><p>"So we doing this?", Mike referred to acting like a couple. He wasn't excited but he was as happy as he hadn't been in a few weeks.</p><p>"Do you best, rookie," Harvey almost teased as he opened the door. It was Harvey's way to show him that he was working at forgiving him. Maybe the words in the church really gone through him.</p><p>"Wow from hate to love in 10 minutes? Is a little fast", the associate tried to joke as he met Harvey at the door of a fancy restaurant.</p><p>"From disappointment to fake love in 10 minutes," Harvey corrected him. Mike froze and almost got hit by the door if Harvey hadn't caught it.</p><p>"Watch out, now get your act together, we have to woo the clients," the boss hissed as a waiter led them to a table.</p><p>"Don't you mean fake hate to fake love?", Mike whispered to Harvey who was in front of him.</p><p>"Don't push it, puppy," Harvey turned and glared at him. He got a huge grin on his face. Mike felt that Harvey rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Aren't they cute," the potential clients watched them with a smile.</p><p>Harvey switched to "closer-mode" as he sat across from the potential clients.</p><p>The dinner proceeded without a hitch. Harvey ordered for him and Mike.  Harvey's performance was to keep being professional. It makes sense, the last that what Harvey wanted was to be lovey-dovey with the guy who betrayed him. He might treat Mike a bit better but it didn't mean he'd forgive him.</p><p>The only thing that was not professional was that Harvey and Mike were sitting in such proximity that Mike could literally smell Harvey's aftershave. The smell was Sandalwood and screamed, "I'm a rich and successful and experienced man". </p><p>"So you want us as your lawyers?" Harvey asked when they were finished listening to the clients and explained what they could do as their lawyers.</p><p>Patrick Milling looked to his husband Dean who nodded.<br/>"Yes, we think you can represent our interests."</p><p>"I'm glad to hear that. Thank you for the meeting," Harvey signaled the waiter for the bill.</p><p>"Wait, do you have some time? We like to speak to you as friends and Dean here has questions," Mr. Milling asked.<br/>"Questions about?", Harvey asked tensed. <br/>"How long are you together? It is easy to separate the professional from the private?", Mike squeezed Harvey's shoulder and decided to answer.<br/>"We know each other for almost two years and it's not always easy to separate that thing. The problem is that we are more at work...", he said and put on his best pleading puppy dog expression.</p><p>"Oh, we understand. Are you our last meeting?", Patrick asked empathy from across them.<br/>"Yes," Mike nodded and kicked Harvey's foot.<br/>Harvey glared at him but then smile for the clients.<br/>"If you don't mind, we have plans for tonight," Harvey explained polity but he was still tense.</p><p>The pair agreed and shook their hands but not before they signed a client contract.</p><p>Outside Harvey texted his driver but Mike caught a cab so they both took them.</p><p>"So, we need a backstory," Mike said after a while.<br/>"I don't think so. We manage just fine earlier," Harvey spoke.</p><p>And it was true. They didn't have to do couply things like holdings hands or kissing. It was perfect for Harvey but for Mike...it was not easy; Pretending to be in love with your boss and at the same time showing not too much from his true feelings but also not too little feelings. Showing the world you are in love with his boss but not open in love and trying not to upset said boss by the obvious gestures that just hint that you are a couple in disguise.</p><p>It was exhausting as hell but lucky for them it works.</p><p>Mike was more confused about his own feelings. He wishes nothing more than to feel loved by Harvey for a moment. To have his fullest attention. To have his warm eyes fixed on him. The reason for his proud smile to be ... To feel his strong arms. His lips on his ... ok, ok. He should stop ...</p><p>Right here is the problem. He wishes all of this but he knows once he feels this, even if it was only played, it will become like a drug. Harvey would be his drug. How he was going to handle continuing fake dating his boss he’d been wanting to actually date since the day he met him? He had no idea so it would be better to stay ignorant.</p><p>And again it wasn't really "dating". They didn't go on dates in their private time because Harvey argued that they weren't that famous. And it was good that they weren't so famous. Neither forgot that Mike was the vulnerable one. One deep search and his secret would be out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I can't believe that we are that awesome.” Mike just can’t stop grinning, the win gave him an adrenalin rush.</p><p>"It's our fourth win this week in a week and it is only Tuesday."</p><p>Harvey snickered as he stuffs his hands into his coat pockets, following him down the stairs of the courthouse.</p><p>“You should believe that we are a good team," Harvey smirked.</p><p>Mike glances at him in surprise. “ Thank you for still having me on your team. ”</p><p>Harvey put an envelope out of his inside pocket and hand it to Mike.<br/>With a curious and confused expression, the other man took the envelope. He knew he shouldn't ask stupid questions so he simply opened the envelope.<br/>Inside was two tickets for a baseball game on coming Saturday.</p><p>"Do you join me?", Mike asked with a soft smile. <br/>"Of course it's the Mets against the Yankees." </p><p>The chance that Harvey'd forgive him getting higher.</p><p> </p><p>They had a great time, drinking beers and eating forth hotdogs. Mike telling Harvey all facts he read about baseball. Everything was alright until the kiss camera caught them on the big screen. </p><p>They were in the middle of a conversation and Mike was laughing after something Harvey said. Harvey was the first one who notices the camera because screams and cheers were gradually getting louder around him. He lifted his head to look around and saw himself on the screen. The crowd continued chanting and yelling around him so he grabbed Mike with both hands on the other man's cheeks and leaned in to press their lips together in a short but passionate kiss.  Mike was too shock to kiss back. The camera rolls on and shifts onto someone else.</p><p>The crowd was clapping and whistling and wasn't really helping Mike, he glazed to Harvey who just took a sip from his beer after he'd pulled away with a smug look on his face and ignored Mike's staring.</p><p>It doesn’t have to mean anything. </p><p>But that’s just it, isn’t it?</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. We said jump</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After the baseball game, Mike doesn't know how to deal with Harvey then the Christmas Party gave them an opportunity to clear things.<br/>In the end, Harvey lets Mike in, everywhere.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, I hope you had a merry Christmas!<br/>I know it's been a while and now I get why others sometimes need so much time to update a chapter.<br/>This chapter is probably as long as two chapters.<br/>I hope you enjoy it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The repeated playing of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ might have been the worst element of the first Pearson- Darbey Christmas party; three minutes of sickening lyrics throbbing through Mike's eardrums for what seemed like half an hour but it wasn’t exactly <em>that</em> terrible.</p><p>The blonde was sitting on a barstool drinking eggnog and hoped that nobody would come to join him for company. Already three people asked him the same annoying questions about his not existing relationship with his boss.</p><p>How long they were together, how they got together, where they meet etc. <em>That</em> was terrible because he didn't want to think about Harvey.</p><p>If he'd think about him he'd think about the kiss and if he'd think about the kiss he would have a hard time keeping his feelings compartmentalized. They were platonically dating/ fake dating and even their fake relationship was professional.</p><p>Mike laughed at that thought.</p><p>That was the deal. Platonic.</p><p>Harvey had just been acting given the crowd what they wanted, that was all; outside of that kiss, he'd never shown any sign that he thought about Mike that way. The kiss was for the people nothing more.</p><p><br/>And it would stay by one kiss. Even when the party was full of Mistletoes.</p><p>To his relief, the bar was plant-free. So that was part of the reason he chilled there.</p><p>Mike couldn't help but sighed as he thought about how easy it was to fool people.<br/>Seriously were people so dense especially the people he works with or sees almost every day? Why did everybody believe this charade?</p><p><br/>"When you get married?", Mike blinked in surprise and he looked over his shoulder to see Louis with a glass of champagne in one hand smirking at him.</p><p>"What are you talking about?", the young man asked confused.</p><p>Louis sneered, "I'm talking about the article in Law love gossip. There are photos of you and Harvey in front of the courthouse and kissing at a baseball game."</p><p><br/>Mike's eyes widening and he looked at Louis in horror. "Really?"</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes, "Yes, the magazine loves you and keeps an eye on you. Of course, Harvey would show you off in public. So I wonder when you get married so I know how long time I have to write my best man speech for you."</p><p><br/>This was too much for Mike. He groaned and banged his head against the bar counter and kept his head there.</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"I understand you had problems but since your relationship went publish you seem fine. A little bit tense through," the junior partner commented and was oblivious to Mike's discomfort.<br/>"For a while, I wondered what the problem was."</p><p>Mike groaned again and turned his head to look at Louis. "You don't have to wonder about everything. We are fine thank you," his voice cold.</p><p>"Then why didn't Harvey ask you?", Louis asked further clearly in his element.</p><p><br/>"Hey! Why do you think he asks me why not the other way?!", Mike asked offended, and lifted his head to sit straight again.</p><p><br/>A familiar laugh made him turn around in the chair.</p><p>"Wow, at least you two agreed to make fun of me," Mike mumbled as he saw Harvey approached them on the bar.</p><p><br/>He’d been wondering most of the night where the man had been. Mike just assumed that Harvey was working in his office but there he was, dressed head to toe in his normal fashion of a fine suit. It was dark black, with a blue tie.</p><p>"Aww, rookie don't sulk," Harvey teased and grabbed Mike's glass from his hand to empty the contents in his mouth. The glare Mike gave him only earned him a laugh from Harvey.</p><p><br/>"This is what I trying to tell you, Mike. If you have a wedding date please tell me," then Louis disappeared before the two could react.</p><p><br/>"What are you doing here? Miss me already?", Mike asked with a cheeky grin before Harvey could question him.<br/>Without a word, Harvey turned on his heel and signaled Mike to follow after him.</p><p>“ We need to do business.” Mike winced as he jogged behind.</p><p>“The files from the Steward meager don't read themselves.”</p><p><br/>The two walked down the hall, past the many other offices and desks belonging to other lawyers.</p><p>Harvey pushed the door to his office open.<br/>Mike's eyes darted around the office.</p><p>Thank god no mistletoes.</p><p>"So marriage?", Harvey asks from his seat in his office chair.<br/>Mike took the files from the desk and sat on the couch.</p><p>"What?"</p><p><br/>"I hear what Louis told you and Donna showed me the article in the magazine. Getting marriage makes sense."</p><p>Did Harvey say it?</p><p>Mike couldn't believe it.</p><p><br/>"Do I actually have to tell you how ridiculous you're being, or can you read it well enough on my face?"</p><p><br/>Harvey laughed, surprising Mike again. "That's normally my line. But to answer your unsaid question yes, I'm serious. It would be beneficial to continue this relationship.”</p><p><br/>“Oh,” Mike told himself it’s absurd to feel so pleased. “It wouldn’t bother you? Taking the next step and being with a guy who has feelings for you? You hate feelings."</p><p><br/>He never thought he would feel so relax when (if) he would confess his feelings for Harvey. But here he was casually telling his boss that he had feelings for him after his boss proposes to him. Maybe he was hallucinating. Or drunk.</p><p>Yeah, let's blame it all on the eggnogs.</p><p><br/>Harvey looked at him like he was an idiot, but there’s fondness there too, so Mike could forgive the slight.</p><p>“I wouldn't ask you to consider marriage if I don't have feelings for you too." It would be very easy to lie but it was Christmas.</p><p><br/>Mike thought his chest might burst open but in a nice way.</p><p>“Ha! You admit that you have feelings in general and for me. You care about me. It's a Christmas miracle!"</p><p><br/>Harvey rolled his eyes with flair. “Do you not want to hear the benefits?”, he asked wryly; his lips twitch into a smile.</p><p><br/>"Yes, go ahead," Mike nodded trying to stay cool, and leaned his elbow on his thigh so he could rest his chin in his hand.</p><p><br/>"One protection: If someone finds the truth about you, we can make use of the right to refuse to give pieces of evidence because we would be married.<br/>Two: Clients and people who discriminate against us will be accused and we win these cases of course.<br/>Three: I get a puppy", Harvey finished in a warm voice as he states the facts in court.<br/>"So wish one do you prefer?"</p><p>Mike raised his eyebrows, purses his lips, and wags his head a little, making a show of considering that. He was proud of his self-control otherwise he would stare at Harvey with an open mouth and would not say a word for a while.</p><p>If someone would manage to pop the question in the least romantic way that’s humanly possible, before even consider dating, of course, the person would be Harvey.</p><p>Who else?!</p><p>Maybe they were just joking around.</p><p><br/>"Oh, it's difficult to decide. All reasons are good. I may add the fourth reason: You'll get a loyal husband someone who will protect you too and will love you forever."</p><p><br/>"That was implied in point three, catch up rookie", Harvey shook his head amused.<br/>"Hey, I was trying to be a little bit romantic unlike you," Mike pouted.</p><p><br/>Harvey’s expression changed to gloating and he stood up.</p><p>"I didn't feel it, Romeo,” Harvey moved to the sofa and sat down next to him pressing Mike from the side into the sofa.</p><p>Mike could feel the warmth of his boss’s body against his front. His brain shouting for him to move but his body all too happy to sit here with Harvey pressed against him.</p><p><br/>"So should I die for you, Juliet?", Mike challenged him.</p><p><br/>Harvey was in his face now. Just far enough away that they weren’t touching but close enough for Mike to feel trapped.</p><p><br/>"Please don't," Harvey mumbled his gaze fix on pink lips. In one fluid motion, he leaned back, reached out and grabbed the stupid skinny-tie Mike was wearing, and pulled him in to press their lips together.</p><p><br/>It felt like hours before Mike got his stupid brain to work again- really it was only a few seconds. Resting his hands on Harvey’s hips, he slowly moved his lips. Mike was stunned, Harvey was being… gentle, moving in a slow melodic pattern. It was enough to make Mike mad.</p><p><br/>Suddenly he was pulled in even closer, Harvey’s hands digging into his thick sweater. Mike couldn’t hold back a whimpery little moan and he opened his mouth up to let Harvey right in. Harvey certainly wasn’t holding anything back. Mike was glad that they were sitting, his head was spinning with dizzying pleasure.<br/>After a while, they pulled back and breathing heavily, and just staring at each other.</p><p><br/>"Marry me," Harvey whispered staring intensely into Mike's blue eyes.</p><p>Mike laughed and threw his head back he couldn't help. The whole situation was unbelievable.</p><p>"Was that kiss that good?"</p><p>The older man cupped Mike's jaw without saying everything and kissed him softly on his cheek, his eyelid, his nose, rubbing his bottom lip with the blade of his thumb. A pleasing flush blooming on Mike's cheeks.</p><p><br/>"L-... let's get out of here," Mike stuttered instead.<br/>The smile he receives in return illuminates Harvey's entire face, a look that no one got the privilege to see except Mike.</p><p> </p><p>"Where are we going?", Harvey asked as they were going through the streets of Manhattan.<br/>Mike intertwined Harvey's fingers with his.</p><p>"Doing something just for us," he answered mysteriously.<br/>Harvey grinned and wiggled his eyebrow<br/>Mike slapped him in his side and chuckled."Not that, yet. I was thinking of movie night."<br/>"A movie?!", the older man repeated skeptically.</p><p><br/>After a while, Harvey realized that Mike led them to his own condo.<br/>"I'm not that easy, honey," but Harvey squeezed nevertheless Mike's hand.<br/>"I can feed you first. You seem like the wine and dine, guy," Mike said cheekily and had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling like an idiot.</p><p><br/>They enter the hall and wish the doorman a merry Christmas as they pass him. The doorman didn't even blink as he saw them hand-holding.</p><p><br/>"You can't afford to wine and dine me, rookie."<br/>"And who fault it is?", the younger one sulked.<br/>"Not mine," Harvey said with a shrug as they entered the elevator.</p><p><br/>"Ok, Louis's fault," leaning against the wall of the elevator.<br/>"And Jessica," Harvey added.<br/>Mike signed as he heard her name.</p><p>"It's kinda always her fault."<br/>"What do you mean?", Harvey looked at him with a confused expression as they entered the condo, hands still intertwined.</p><p><br/>Mike sank on the couch and let his gaze wander around the living room. Harvey followed him but let a small distance between them. Mike never was in the condo before. A pretty place to live despite the lack of personal touches.<br/>"Look, it just that I noticed that people got us in this situation. It was Jessica who convince me to betray you. It was the gossip from the office and Jessica who convince us to be a couple for the firm. It was again random people at the baseball game who pressured you to kiss me and it was everybody who pressures us to do the next step and get married as well. We’ll have to remember it was because of tradition instead of us wanting to. They said jump and we simply do it," he paused and clearing his throat a little as he searched for the next words.</p><p><br/>"I-I just want something that I or we do for us. Something special," He felt better getting it off his chest, then he noticed that Harvey's hand on his knee.</p><p><br/>"Mike...", Harvey tilted Mike’s chin up to force him to look at him.<br/>"You are partly right. You forgot where they get the idea from. They don't tell us to be a couple. They thought we are already. That's the difference and I know where they get the idea from."</p><p><br/>Harvey showed him a picture from the courthouse on his phone.<br/>"Look at us. Nobody forces us to look so damn happy."</p><p><br/>Mike laughed. "I have to tell you we look good together."</p><p><br/>"Not just good, amazing," Harvey corrected him and nudged him on his side.</p><p><br/>They stared at each other intensely until Mike cleaned his throat.<br/>"It is real for you?", he asked unsurely.</p><p><br/>"If we’re going to be damned, let’s be damned for what we are," Harvey said, smirking.<br/>"Of course, you would quote Star Trek," Mike rolled his eyes.</p><p><br/>Harvey turned serious. “I’ve never been good with relationships, and even worse talking about them,” Harvey began to explain, his voice was quiet, almost like he wasn’t talking to Mike.</p><p>“This thing with you… our relationship… means more to me than you know,” he took a deep breath and continued slowly.</p><p><br/>"When we met it was obvious right from the start that we made a connection. It was good to have someone to teach, to makes him feel grounded and secure, and that someone trusts you in a way he's never really trusted anyone before. And it even better to realize that it goes both ways. I began to accept that I made the right choice to risking my career for you. But then-", tried taking another couple of breaths, but he couldn’t keep the tremor out of his voice.</p><p>It was very rare to see the man so open; to see him speak about his feelings and let Mike see his feelings.<br/>"When you betrayed me it hurts more than everything. It took me a while to realize why."</p><p><br/>"Wait, you said you accepted me but why you kept me at a distance? Why you were so angry at me sometimes?", Mike had to interrupt, his boss let his walls down for once, so he had to take adventures.</p><p><br/>Harvey stood up to fix himself a drink of scotch. He took a sip and then continued while standing next to the couch.<br/>"Even first when you were performing on the job, I just couldn’t let myself praise you, I had to hold on to my anger, afraid that if I didn’t I would lose control. And when you betrayed me I focussed on the anger again. But months later, I could see you withdrawing, the sparkle disappearing from your eyes, and I knew that I was the cause of it," Harvey stopped and took another long sip of his scotch and slowly went back to sit next to Mike on the couch.</p><p><br/>Mike knew they were getting closer, so he just waited patiently.<br/>"After your speeches about forgiveness, I decided to give you another chance because the feelings that I had for you didn't disappear. I'm not able to pinpoint exactly when I had fallen in love with you but I know I have these feelings for a while now," finally Harvey looked at Mike letting him see all his feelings.</p><p><br/>The younger one knew that this confession would come but he still felt stunned to hear that from him. He took a deep breath.</p><p>"Now I know why you were so cold and angry with me. The revelation made you happy, then sad, and finally mad. Mad at yourself for being so stupid for not controlling your feelings, mad at the world for making you want something that was clearly out of your reach or you thought it was the case. All that anger had to have an outlet, and unfortunately for me, you directed it at me because I was the source."</p><p>Harvey wasn't the only one who could read people.<br/>Mike learned in his time with Harvey to read him as well. But he never thought that Harvey was angry because he fell in love with him. The analysis was part of the reflection Mike felt when he realizes he fell in love with his love. But different from Harvey he simply accepted his fate. That Harvey would never fall for him, and especially after he betrayed him.</p><p><br/>"Good analysis Dr. Freud you should rather become a fake psychologist," Harvey poured himself another glass of scotch in sitting.</p><p>Mike snorted, "How would I met you then?"</p><p><br/>They were silent after that for a while. Both had to take to wrap their minds around their conversation.</p><p><br/>"It is real for you, Mike? Would you want to date me for real?"</p><p>"You have my word...” Mike said before smiling mischievously and added.“And my sword, and my bow, and my ax!”</p><p><br/>“Lord of the Rings, seriously? Really mature." Harvey tried to be stern but he couldn’t help but laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want to order in?” at Mike's look of surprise, he just shrugged. “We might as well. It’s getting late, and you haven’t eaten yet, right?”<br/>"What's about work?", Mike wanted to know.</p><p><br/>"Files can wait after the Christmas holidays," Harvey shrugged and took his phone to order pizza for them. The kid was always hungry.</p><p>"And what we gonna do until then?", Mike asked with a seduced smile and dragged a finger along the soft inside of the man’s inner arm, earning a shudder as his nail scraped lightly against the sensitive skin there. He liked that he made him do that and wanted to do it again.</p><p>"First you let me wine and dine you and then we'll find activities to pass the time just for us," Harvey smirked flirtily.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Either this or some Gun threatening. But I thought so much violence isn't always necessary.<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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